McFatty Mania Monday!!!

A fellow blogger buddy and absolutely mamatastic lady of mine has made it her new goal to shed the baby weight, and thus has only further sparked my fire.

It's McFatty Monday folks!!  and while yes it is technically the 5th and already nearly a week into the new year I have been tossing goals around my head and haven't implemented the most important goal of ALL!!!

I need to lose the poundage.  It's been a tough life carrying all this weight, and the emotional baggage that comes with it.  My weight has always been a struggle...as it's my shield and escape.  I wish I could pinpoint what triggered it all, but all I know is I was young, and didn't have healthy coping skills.  As the years passed my weight led to depression, anger, sadness, seclusion, denial, comfort, and then just pure resolve.  I cannot count the number of diets I have been on, and the extremes that I have gone to lose a measly pound.  I know that my body doesn't lose weight easily, and if I dare eat a cookie I can easily gain a pound.  This probably is due to all my yo-yo diets, and those crazy diet pills I have bought like a fiend.  However, it's time.

I cannot tell you how much my weight has held me back.  There are only a handful of people in this world who have truly been allowed to KNOW me.  Yes...call me a flake, or a fake, but I have held back the true me from the majority of people.  I am extremely distrustful, and at the same time self conscious of what people think of me.  Thus...so many people have such a warped view of me.  I hate being labeled, and am so sick of being judged.  Why it has taken me so long to get to this point I don't know.  All I know is that I have had it.  There are so many things I have missed, and I don't want to miss anything else.

So I am tossing my ideas around.  Should I do a low cal diet, Adkins, Weight Watchers, or Medifast?  I know I need to do something drastic to get some results that will keep me going, but which one.  Dieting was always easy when it was just me, but now I have Colby in my life and...well folks he thinks Hamburger Helper is a good meal choice!  He sputters at salad, and grimaces with veggies.  Sooo he is the temptation of all tempations especially when he tells me we should eat out.  I mean what woman doesn't like the idea of not cooking and dirtying the kitchen!!!  I also now have the mutant permanently attched to my hip...he's a total mama's boy so you can imagine how often I actually get to eat now.  Honestly, being a mom has been a great diet!  I am about 9 lbs from what I consider my prepregnancy weight...2 lbs from what my doctor considers it.  I am also boob feeding as much as I can which helps...but egad!  This is going to be a challenge.  At this point I can see myself on the elliptical with Wyatt bobbing with me in the bjorn...talk about back killer.

Nonetheless, I must do this.  I am making a goal of losing ten pounds.  Just ten for now.  I will keep it small, and whether it takes me months to do it, or weeks I will do it.  When I reach my goal, I will re-evaluate and maybe lose ten more.  I think teeny goals will make this easier to stick with, and lessens my chances of overwhelming chaos!!

Anyone who is interested in joining in on this new McFattiness check out the blog Heir to Blair blog, in my list of blogs I stalk.  Blair is a witty, and funny crazy gal!!!