My New Addiction

I am in LOVE with scrapbooking. 

While in college my sister and I started scrapbooking.  We were complete novices, and honestly the pages I made back then were pretty BLAH!  Anyways, I have rediscovered my love for being creative with pictures and I am a bit obsessed.  It is so much fun taking pictures, finding pictures, and then organizing them.   I have SOOO much that I need to scrapbook. 

I am currently working on a book for Wyatt.  While I don't want to be thought of as a crazy mom, but it is so important to me to document his life for him.  This is a period that he will be unable to remember, and I want him to flip through pages to see his first Christmas, and Halloween.  I often wish there were pictures of me at my first Christmas, or even just the simple discoveries that I made as I grew.  It is not my intention to say a "Shame shame" on my parents as I know they did their best.  However, I think this is a gift that he can enjoy for the rest of his life, and hopefully his own children will enjoy it!

ZOMG

Well...my diet has been up and down.  Essentially I don't eat all day thanks to WIDE AWAKE WYATT, and then when Colby gets home I eat whatever for dinner.  So one meal a day...ugh!  I know this is totally screwing up my metabolism.  My exercising has been slow, thanks to the fact I really have to stretch the 3 hours of sleep I have only been getting lately.  Ugh...ugh...ugh! 

On a good note, I have been trying to eat much better.  However, I have not gotten on the scale...yeah I will face that dial soon enough!   Essentially I think I need to develop a set routine, or schedule for my days.  At the moment I work a haphazard workday thanks to Wyatt, then I run around attempting to keep up on laundry, and as soon as I get Wyatt asleep I am working till 2 or 3 in the morning.  This is killing me. 

Mama needs a vacation...haha!

The New Mama Diet

Essentially you run around so much you don't eat much....muhaha.  Anyways...I stepped on the scale and I am down two pounds.   Teeny steps...but it makes me feel good.

Operation Kitchen Clean Out

To remain true to my resolution to spend less, save more we have implemented Operation Kitchen Clean Out.  This involves no grocery shopping for at least two weeks.  The only grocery purchases that I can make are for basic staples.  So far it is going good, although it definitely makes it hard to watch my calories....however, I am managing.  

However, I am happy to say that there is a bit of a dent in my cupboards, and my freezer is looking sparse!  We throw so much food away...its so wasteful.   I love that we are using what we have, and not having to go grocery shopping every week.  Plus, ultimately we are saving money!!

Do I...or Do I not???

Well, I am trying to put things in motion for my weight loss and new me bonanza!!!  My plan was to start walking next week with my mom...and Wyatt.  However, no my sister has sparked some debate in my mind. 

I planned on walking and working out at home till I know exactly what is happening with my boss and his firm.  (He wants to sell it).  If he sells it, he wants to keep me on...but part time...so that means less money and a tight budget.  If he keeps it...then I am fine moneywise.  However, my sister is tempting me to join the gym.  You wanna know how she is tempting me?!?!  

Mommy and Me!  a swimming class with your baby.  OMG!!  I think Wyatt would LOVE this.  Granted me in a suit...not so much!!!  However, I will do anything for my little guy.  Also, I can join a class called Extreme Fitness, which I planned on doing anyways.  This class would be discounted for my new membership...further tempting.   Also, the gym has childcare so there really is no excuse not to go. 

Now for the crappiness factor, I would have to sign a year contract.   Personally, I feel gym contracts are ridiculous!  Crap happens, and if suddenly I lost my job I would still be obligated to this damn contract.  There is also a hefty eval fee, so it would probably be about $250 or so to start up.  Part of me feels like I could get the same results working out at home. 

I dunno...I am going back and forth on this one. 

McFatty Mania Monday!!!

A fellow blogger buddy and absolutely mamatastic lady of mine has made it her new goal to shed the baby weight, and thus has only further sparked my fire.

It's McFatty Monday folks!!  and while yes it is technically the 5th and already nearly a week into the new year I have been tossing goals around my head and haven't implemented the most important goal of ALL!!!

I need to lose the poundage.  It's been a tough life carrying all this weight, and the emotional baggage that comes with it.  My weight has always been a struggle...as it's my shield and escape.  I wish I could pinpoint what triggered it all, but all I know is I was young, and didn't have healthy coping skills.  As the years passed my weight led to depression, anger, sadness, seclusion, denial, comfort, and then just pure resolve.  I cannot count the number of diets I have been on, and the extremes that I have gone to lose a measly pound.  I know that my body doesn't lose weight easily, and if I dare eat a cookie I can easily gain a pound.  This probably is due to all my yo-yo diets, and those crazy diet pills I have bought like a fiend.  However, it's time.

I cannot tell you how much my weight has held me back.  There are only a handful of people in this world who have truly been allowed to KNOW me.  Yes...call me a flake, or a fake, but I have held back the true me from the majority of people.  I am extremely distrustful, and at the same time self conscious of what people think of me.  Thus...so many people have such a warped view of me.  I hate being labeled, and am so sick of being judged.  Why it has taken me so long to get to this point I don't know.  All I know is that I have had it.  There are so many things I have missed, and I don't want to miss anything else.

So I am tossing my ideas around.  Should I do a low cal diet, Adkins, Weight Watchers, or Medifast?  I know I need to do something drastic to get some results that will keep me going, but which one.  Dieting was always easy when it was just me, but now I have Colby in my life and...well folks he thinks Hamburger Helper is a good meal choice!  He sputters at salad, and grimaces with veggies.  Sooo he is the temptation of all tempations especially when he tells me we should eat out.  I mean what woman doesn't like the idea of not cooking and dirtying the kitchen!!!  I also now have the mutant permanently attched to my hip...he's a total mama's boy so you can imagine how often I actually get to eat now.  Honestly, being a mom has been a great diet!  I am about 9 lbs from what I consider my prepregnancy weight...2 lbs from what my doctor considers it.  I am also boob feeding as much as I can which helps...but egad!  This is going to be a challenge.  At this point I can see myself on the elliptical with Wyatt bobbing with me in the bjorn...talk about back killer.

Nonetheless, I must do this.  I am making a goal of losing ten pounds.  Just ten for now.  I will keep it small, and whether it takes me months to do it, or weeks I will do it.  When I reach my goal, I will re-evaluate and maybe lose ten more.  I think teeny goals will make this easier to stick with, and lessens my chances of overwhelming chaos!!

Anyone who is interested in joining in on this new McFattiness check out the blog Heir to Blair blog, in my list of blogs I stalk.  Blair is a witty, and funny crazy gal!!!  

Hmmm...

To my right my husband is snoring, and to my left my son is snoring. 

Of course the weirdest part is that I AM WIDE AWAKE and witnessing this.

Resolutions

I have been really thinking about this next year, and what I want out of it.   Last year I looked at 2009 and thought lets lose weight, pay off bills, and have a baby.  Well, I did one of those things obviously, and Wyatt definitely didn't help with losing weight and bills.    However, here I am 2010 and at the end of my twenties and I want to end this time feeling good about myself.

This year I want to gain control of my body.  I want to feel good about myself when I look in the mirror, and I want to be able to take pictures of my little guy and I without feeling awkward.  I want to feel healthy, and energetic!  and if we do decide to give Wyatt a sibling I want to be thinner when I do it!

My body isn't the only thing I want to focus on.  I want to pay off bills, and build up our savings.  It is important to me that we send Wyatt to college, and also to be able to show him the world around us.  Plus, it would be AWESOME if I could eventually either just be a stay at home mom, or work part time.

I want to enrich myself.  Currently, I feel like I have no focus in life.  I am running around just trying to get through each day, and this isn't making me happy necessarily.  I want to develop a better method for keeping my house, and just general day to day duties.   I also may steal an idea from my friend and start cooking a new dish every week.  I feel like I need to broaden my horizons, and finding what makes me happy!

I have so much on my plate this year, and I don't even know if I am being realistic, but I want to give it a try.  I suppose we shall see how it goes!!!